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Wintry Mix

by The Apple Zed

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1.
The Storm 03:59
I tracked fresh snow Inside our as of yet unbroken home And gave my notice to maybe vacate Or maybe stay. “I’ve not decided yet which way I’m leaning. Hope that’s OK.” Oh, what a pair on me. First caved the roof. Next gave the walls. The frames we’d placed had barely left an outline. In fairness to you, I should have shown some basic human decency And torched the whole damn thing in one fell swoop Instead of belaboring, piece by piece. And this was long before I realized How much of us had been romanticized. Who am I to try to justify the way I behaved? Even so, I know I can’t help but go with the truths you finally gave. I did this for me; it wasn’t on your behalf. All the same, I’ll maintain all the way to my grave: No one deserves a yes man, however affable. No one deserves a blank check, however lucrative. No one deserves a cold front being put on for them. No one deserves a facade.
2.
We start a journey tonight Guided by the distant lights And these cold, silent, faraway sparks Could be campfires, streetlights, or stars Passing by, all but lost in the dark How will we know we’ve arrived? That’s up to those who survive And these faint, flickering, innumerable sparks Could be fireflies, torches, or stars Unnamed, unknown in the dark Count one on the left, count two on the left… Count one on the right, count two on the right… Count a million above
3.
Wintrovert 04:06
Boots, gloves, check for leaks Ready for December, or the surface of the moon Haven’t had a conversation in two weeks Hope to be forgotten soon Step inside; glasses turn to haze Helps dull the pain of eye contact Try to lose track of the days Strict routine, sacred as a blood pact Snow makes it easy to lose the way Just let it fade to white Consider going; choose to stay Watch frozen stars invade the night
4.
The Calm 04:03
Gentle flakes cascaded downward, Crystallized in the shifting glow of street lights. Giving chase through the majesty, Hypnotized by the pavement’s gentle purr, Two people stole a passing glance, Mesmerized by the solitude they shared. I took a moment just to revel in our silence; Comfort unabated, unparalleled, unrivaled, and unreal. It was time to break the ice, To bare myself, to share my truth The way you’d done the moment we Embarked upon our joyride. As time appeared to freeze, I carved and sculpted out my thoughts. Your eyes exclaimed, “Get on with it!” I finally spoke, and You smiled knowingly; You smirked happily. You’d choreographed a perfect snow dance For the two of us To usher in a winter wedding with.
5.
F.I.N.E. 05:52
I see Mountains And the people who climb When did I choose To fall so far behind? (When did I choose?) I still Feel strong Think of all I could do Wander Aimless Never following through Cherish the victories Count them up one by one Try not to notice what a small Pile they make when I’m done I remember a past with a future Before that pragmatic and sensible lie Convinced me that sending roots into the ground Is the best way to fly Make believe there’s no road out of town Hits the county line and it just ends Imagine that this is all I imagined It’s nice to pretend Build a small house, fill it with small things Things that are mine Lead a small life, and feel content Most of the time And that’s fine.

credits

released December 31, 2019

Lyrics/Music:
- Matthew Scarborough :: lyrics (1/4); music (1/4)
- Annika Willow :: lyrics (2/3/5); music (2/3/5)

Personnel:
- Carly Crowley :: vocals (3/5)
- Eric Michaels :: vocals (2/5)
- Matthew Scarborough :: keyboards; drum programming (1/4); vocals (1/4)
- Jim Strong :: suspended cymbal (4)
- Annika Willow :: bass; guitar; cello; drum programming (2/3/4)

Post:
- Matthew Scarborough :: artwork
- Annika Willow :: mix; master

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